Distinctive

By Victoria Tillson Evans, Ph.D.

Besides the bursts of pink cherry blossoms, the sugary gooeyness of Cadbury Crème Eggs, and the mulchy petrichor following drizzly afternoons, nothing says spring quite like high school juniors’ brag sheets. These often lengthy questionnaires, sometimes referred to as Counselor Forms, Junior Packets, or other less-than-creative names, are like the starting gun at the beginning of a race, awakening students to the marathon they must now run to complete their college applications.

Unfortunately, since these questionnaires are frequently distributed and are due in the middle of testing season (AP, SAT, ACT, or finals, pick your poison), most students try to get them done as quickly as possible, which means providing the easiest, shortest, and most unfiltered answers. Doing a slapdash job on your brag sheet, however, is a missed opportunity to convince your letter writers that you’re not just a top student, but an interesting person.

To help you complete these as well as possible, I urge you to avoid these three common mistakes.

Avoiding Your Own Gaze – I don’t believe there is a psychological term that perfectly captures this phenomenon, but many of us need someone else to hold up a metaphorical mirror so we can see what we are like. I frankly find it fascinating how we spend every waking hour with ourselves, yet in so many cases, we know ourselves so little. This may be because most institutions and people we engage with in our modern world don’t invite introspection. It could also be because we have a multiplicity of identities, as the renowned American philosopher and psychologist William James noted, which results in different versions of ourselves that we present to different people in different social situations. Add to that the fact that most teenagers are still developing their identities and learning to think about their own thinking, and it’s no surprise that they struggle to answer brag sheet questions well.

This is why it’s so important for students to have an interlocutor as they work on these forms. To assume that you can distill the best version of yourself while you are literally figuring out who you are is a daunting task. It is therefore unsurprising that many juniors struggle to come up with strong answers without first discussing their stories with someone else. If you want to overcome this issue, I recommend finding a person you trust (like your college consultant), who can help you reflect on your best qualities and experiences, so that those elements can make their way into your letter writers’ hands and eventually worm their way into admissions officers’ minds. Sometimes the best way to understand ourselves is through someone else’s eyes.

Being a Debbie Downer – The impulse to share the good, the bad, and the ugly comes from a number of places. Perhaps you want to be fully honest about who you are, and you feel it’s disingenuous to present a completely rosy picture. Alternatively, if you’re a parent completing your portion, your teenager may be going through a phase where most conversations consist of you asking questions and them responding with a monosyllabic word or sound. I don’t mean to brag, but I often get the two-syllable, “Your mom!” as my 14-year-old’s answer to most of my open-ended questions. It’s also not uncommon for teenagers to struggle with self-esteem issues or depression, which can make it difficult for them to recognize what makes them great.

Unfortunately, any negativity in a brag sheet can make its way into a letter of recommendation and ultimately hurt an application. You want to avoid it at all costs, even when a question seems to invite a negative response.

Take a common example: “Talk about a time you failed.” This question is, of course, inviting an admission of imperfection (Heaven forbid!), but it’s really asking you to demonstrate resilience. The hidden question is, “What did you do to overcome that failure?” You don’t want to simply describe what went wrong. You want to show how you grew. Can you learn from your mistakes? Can you take lemons and make lemonade, or even better, be like Afroman and make “Lemon Pound Cake?” This is a question about character, not perfection (which is honestly boring to read about), and it’s important to show you have it in spades.

Giving Half-Hearted Responses – Most first drafts of brag sheets that I receive are completed in haste. This is a huge mistake. Your brag sheet is an opportunity to provide rich material for letters of recommendation. Minimal effort just isn’t going to cut it.

Think of it this way. Letters of recommendation have traditionally been a black box in the college admissions process. We rarely see what’s written. In fact, students waive their rights to view them when they sign the Family Educational Rights and Privacy Act (FERPA) Release. With a brag sheet, you have the opportunity to shine a light into that black box and influence what it contains. Don’t you want that? I do!

To tip the scales in your favor, provide thoughtful, fully developed answers with specific anecdotes that allow your letter writer to show, not just tell, how great you are. If you’re unsure what that looks like, consider this typical scenario:

“Give me 3 words that describe you.”

i. Kind – I always hold doors open for people.
ii. Inquisitive – I always ask lots of questions in class.
iii. Independent – I like to figure out problems on my own and only ask for help if I truly can’t solve them after trying for a long time.

If you’re having a hard time picturing these stories or understanding why this student is special, you’re not alone. Most students could claim these generalizations as their own, which is good, but we need more for great letters! Stronger responses are specific and detailed. Here’s a better example for “kind”:

My choir teacher is more concerned about her students than any other teacher. She’s on a completely different level. I wanted to repay her for that. I came up with the idea of covering her piano with Post-it notes thanking her for everything she has done for us.

While this answer could still be expanded by digging into how this student got others onboard, a letter writer, and by extension an admissions officer, can now clearly see how this student uniquely demonstrates kindness.

By giving your best effort on your brag sheet, you are seizing an opportunity to shape the narrative told about you in your applications. Anything less puts you at a serious disadvantage. If you’re unsure about what you’ve written or how it comes across, sit down with someone and talk it through. While it may seem like another to-do to check off your list, you should treat this questionnaire as a chance not only to strengthen your applications, but also to learn something meaningful about yourself. In a year from now, as you’re sorting through your college options, you’ll have not only better results, but greater clarity about who you are. And I would say that those reasons alone are well worth the effort.